Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Clausterphobic

I found out that I am clausterphobic yesterday.  As the technician covered my eyes, stopped up my ears, padded my head so I couldn't move, my heart began to race.  As I slid into the MRI machine I felt as if I couldn't breathe.  I was freaking out and squeezed the bulb in my hand.  He was kind, patiently talked with me but I wasn't going back in.  He sent me to the hospital where they have a larger machine--perhaps if it wasn't such a tight fit I'd be okay.  She walked me back and let me just lie down and go into the machine to see if that would make a difference.  It didn't. 

I've never experienced anything like that before.  I'm the girl that just sucks it up and moves on.  I didn't.  I called the doctor and asked for some valium.  I'm going back in tomorrow morning, prepped with valium.  I pray it works.  I feel like a nut.  It's a tiny block of time--less than an hour.  It freaks me out just thinking about it.  I've never taken valium before, I hope it knocks me out or at least makes me not care about the procedure.

It's just an hour, I can do anything for an hour.  Right?  I hope.  I need to hear that this stupid bump is no big deal so I can stop worrying and my headaches will go away.  The headaches started when I began to worry, not while the bump was growing so they're definately pyschosomatic.

The simple fact is that unicorns are real and I must have touched one once and had some of that magic imparted to me.

The girls have a half day--perhaps this afternoon we should watch The Last Unicorn, I've always loved that show.

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