Friday, January 8, 2010

RevGal Friday 5: Dream Edition

1. Do you tend to daydream?
Yeah, I'm guilty. i'm a very visual person.

2. Do you usually remember your night dreams? Do you find them symbolic and meaningful or just quirky?
It's probably 50/50. When remember them I do consider what they might mean, what my sleeping brain is trying to process.

3. Have you ever had a life changing dream which you'll never forget?
I've had lots of dreams that I'll never forget...lots. Howver, I don't think I'd classify any of them as life changing.
4. Share a long term dream for one or more aspects of your life and work.
Writing a book, my first is a memoir and I already have the title. I've started writing it but I think I have more life to live before it's truly ready to be written.

5. Share a dream for 2010....How can we support you in prayer on both the short and long term dreams?
I long to find my voice in leading the churches I serve. I've been listening, thinking, and I've been discerning what we need to do, what God is leading us to do and now I've got to lead us there. I pray that I can help our churches to follow God's will. Long term? That I too will have the courage and strength to follow God's will.

Bonus: a poem, song, artwork, etc. that deals with dreams in general or one of your dreams.
Ok, so I've mentioned the writing thing, my longing to write a book.   The one I've been waiting to write, the one that I haven't lived enough yet there have been times I've laid it aside.  One day I thought a seminary memoir would be fun to read and to write.  This is the intro that I have written for it...perhaps posting it will inspire me to actually do more with it.
Let’s get this straight from the outset. I do not believe myself to have been some outstanding seminarian. No, I know some of them, am honored to call a few friends but I am not one of them. I am one of many called by God (at least we believe to be, while I’d guess there are a few straight up charlatans in the bunch) to attend seminary and then find a way to serve the church, to serve God’s people both inside and outside of the the church. Despite what you might be thinking, despite what some professors, fellow students, preachers, and ministers might tell you, this is not a prestigious call. It shouldn’t be anyway, if you are going into the ministry in search of personal validation and victories, please do everyone a favor and go elsewhere!

“But you, you dear one are writing this book, why are you writing this book if you are not held in higher regard than the rest of us? Why bother with any of this?” I’ve asked myself these questions as well. It’s more of a compulsion, one of my own madadjustments to living this human life. I’ve fancied myself a writer since I could write, since I began to string words into sentences, since my very first poem that didn’t rhyme. It’s been my dream, so perhaps I am seeking validation from you the reader, that my dream is not dead. That I have not grown into a failure according to my 10 year old self. No, I do not dare disappoint her—she had enough disappointments, the least I can do is fulfill this one dream of hers, it’s too late for the rest.

The other reason why I write this book is because I am not  the person one would expect to be called into ministry. I am not alone, there are many of us. Religious outcasts, we are more comfortable with agnosticism than evangelism. I’ve seen books (but have not read them—not at this writing anyway) that I believe are directed toward us—“They Like Jesus, But Not the Church.” We have lived lives not of holiness and serenity but full of mess and muck, dirt, grime, and lots of swearing. We do not want a pristine church. We want a church that Jesus would have gone to, we want a church where no one cringes when the F-bomb is dropped. We want our lives and the church to have real meaning, not being simply comprised of words, nice clothes, and some crazy wonderful hats. Nor do we want praise music and hymns to be all that we sing. We live in the world. We know we are sinners, some of us might even suggest that Jesus sinned on occasion as well. So if you prefer a nice clean church and a Jesus who never made any mistakes, let alone sin, then put this book back on the shelf and walk away—make a coalition to ban the book (I could use the sales increase and it would certainly be self validating) if you’d like, but at least be intelligent about it and read the damn thing first! I think that’s enough for now, I might as well get started on the rest.


Sally said...

Love the book intro, and pray that you will find your voice.

Sophia said...

Prayers and blessings for the ministry and mission you sense yourself and your communities being invited to....And that the writing process will be a blessing whatever and whenever the end product arrives!

Mary Beth said...

You ARE a writer. That 10 year old is waiting.

altar ego said...

I have a friend who has perpetual jaw pain problems, and I'm convinced it's because she won't use her voice. For her I think it's fear. For others sometimes I think that we aren't working with the right audience. And then there are those who are afraid to listen. Whatever the context for you, may your voice be heard.

Barbara B. said...

GREAT intro! (I wanted to keep reading...)

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

a book... what a lofty goal! keep writing...

Jan said...

Good writing.

RevAnne said...

I'd read that book. Praying for you.

Mompriest said...

praying for you RevHipChick...'cuz I'm sure your book will be awesome...I'm sure it will pour out of you when your voice is ready to share it with us.

God_Guurrlll said...

I would totally read your book...and attend your church. Ministry is about rolling up your sleeves and getting down and dirty. I want to bring that back too.