I've been a bad blogger. I've been pondering taking down the blog permenantly. I rarely post these days and haven't even been in the blogosphere much at all.
As someone told me last week that they wished I'd finally get my stuff together, it hit hard. I feel the same way. I want to have my stuff together. Some days it feels as though for the past two years all I've offered is excuses and apologies for not being on time, forgetting appointments, not making enough pastoral visits,not being in the office, having crappy sermons, etc. It's not just for the church either, it's friends and family. I've been a half-ass pastor and parent and wife and friend and sister.
As someone told me last week that they wished I'd finally get my stuff together, it hit hard. I feel the same way. I want to have my stuff together. Some days it feels as though for the past two years all I've offered is excuses and apologies for not being on time, forgetting appointments, not making enough pastoral visits,not being in the office, having crappy sermons, etc. It's not just for the church either, it's friends and family. I've been a half-ass pastor and parent and wife and friend and sister.
I've avoided blogging and the blogosphere in hopes of not being distracted, of getting focused. But as I went to visit the RevGals for a final time, before closing my blog, i saw this picture:
I recognized my foot. I also realized how this circle of friends has made my life and ministry better. Blogging and the blogosphere has not merely been a distraction. Blogging and the blogosphere have helped me to be a better pastor and mother. Blogging and the blogosphere have encouraged me, supported me, and held me up when I felt the most alone.
Thank you blogosphere! Thank you RevGals!
I'm not giving up just yet. I'm slotted for surgery on Friday--carpal tunnel release. I'm ready for relief but I'm freaking out about surgery (and I won't even be put under!). Even more than the surgery I'm wigging out about not using my right hand for the next 4 weeks. Obviously I won't be blogging for a while as I can't imagine typing solo with my left hand.
Life is getting ready for another big upheaval--Joel is moving in with us full-time. He's going to be a teacher's aid at the school in town. We are thrilled but now that we have somone renting the house and Joel's last day will be Thursday, I'm having a difficult time. I'm scared of our new reality. We're going back to being broke after 2 years of being pretty flush.
Life is changing fast. For the good, don't get me wrong, it's wodnerful and I'm hopeful that with him being around I'll be more capable of getting my stuff together. But change is hard...no matter what--good stress is still stress.
Thanks to all of the RevGals! I'm checking out for a bit longer but I am grateful for your friendships and support. Thank you!
Comments
Hang in there with the blogging. You may not think it is much but I get a lot out of what you write about.
Prayers and blessings to you on your life transitions and your surgery.
I'm a really squeamish person and just the word surgery makes me light headed, so I can imagine that must be a bit scary. I'll pray.