Skip to main content
I've been a bad blogger. I've been pondering taking down the blog permenantly. I rarely post these days and haven't even been in the blogosphere much at all.

As someone told me last week that they wished I'd finally get my stuff together, it hit hard. I feel the same way. I want to have my stuff together. Some days it feels as though for the past two years all I've offered is excuses and apologies for not being on time, forgetting appointments, not making enough pastoral visits,not being in the office, having crappy sermons, etc. It's not just for the church either, it's friends and family. I've been a half-ass pastor and parent and wife and friend and sister.

I've avoided blogging and the blogosphere in hopes of not being distracted, of getting focused. But as I went to visit the RevGals for a final time, before closing my blog, i saw this picture:
 
I recognized my foot.  I also realized how this circle of friends has made my life and ministry better.  Blogging and the blogosphere has not merely been a distraction.  Blogging and the blogosphere have helped me to be a better pastor and mother.  Blogging and the blogosphere have encouraged me, supported me, and held me up when I felt the most alone.

Thank you blogosphere!  Thank you RevGals! 

I'm not giving up just yet.  I'm slotted for surgery on Friday--carpal tunnel release.  I'm ready for relief but I'm freaking out about surgery (and I won't even be put under!).  Even more than the surgery I'm wigging out about not using my right hand for the next 4 weeks.  Obviously I won't be blogging for a while as I can't imagine typing solo with my left hand.

Life is getting ready for another big upheaval--Joel is moving in with us full-time.  He's going to be a teacher's aid at the school in town.  We are thrilled but now that we have somone renting the house and Joel's last day will be Thursday, I'm having a difficult time.  I'm scared of our new reality.  We're going back to being broke after 2 years of being pretty flush. 

Life is changing fast.  For the good, don't get me wrong, it's wodnerful and I'm hopeful that with him being around I'll be more capable of getting my stuff together.  But change is hard...no matter what--good stress is still stress.

Thanks to all of the RevGals!  I'm checking out for a bit longer but I am grateful for your friendships and support.  Thank you!


Comments

God_Guurrlll said…
If it weren't for the Revgals I wouldn't have met you. I'm glad that we are friends and you are a blessing to me.

Hang in there with the blogging. You may not think it is much but I get a lot out of what you write about.

Prayers and blessings to you on your life transitions and your surgery.
Rebecca Ramsey said…
I don't know you, Revhipchick, but I know how good it feels to remember that I'm part of a community that needs me and wants to be part of my life.
I'm a really squeamish person and just the word surgery makes me light headed, so I can imagine that must be a bit scary. I'll pray.
revkjarla said…
Amen to what GG said, and you are a blessing to me....be gentle and loving to yourself...as you navigate stress. much love to you, k.

Popular posts from this blog

My Third-trimester Abortion

It's something I don't talk about much.

In the past I referred to it as a stillbirth. It was a stillbirth. But it was also an induced labor in my third trimester, hence making it a third-trimester abortion.

When I discovered I was pregnant I was only 16 years old. I'm pretty sure Christopher was conceived on the night my mom walked in on my boyfriend and I having sex on the couch. I thought she was going to be at work but she came home early. He ran out the door and I cried while my mother yelled profanities at me. It was a horrible night for all of us.

I wasn't smart enough to consider pretending I was on my period. After a few months my mom asked me if I was pregnant. She was right but I denied it just the same. Tim and I had talked about giving the baby up for adoption but we were scared out of our minds and decided I'd get an abortion. Another month or so passed, I hadn't gotten an abortion and I couldn't deny my pregnancy to my mom anymore. I told her …

Sleep Deprived Post

First of all, I am a sleeper. I can sleep through nearly anything.  I can still sleep until noon. As soon as my head hits the pillow I fall asleep. I can wake up and go back to sleep almost immediately. I'm a sleeper, it's what I do.

This morning I woke up around 2:30 or 3. I have not been able to go back to sleep! I've been yawning for hours, I've tried laying down and going back to sleep but it's not working. So here I am 2.5 hours later writing on my blog. I'm not sure I can be responsible for what I write in this sleep deprived state.

In about 5 hours I'll leave to pick up my eldest daughter and her BFF from college. Let's hope I don't sleep during the drive!  Okay, not really funny. I'll have to take a cue from my mom and pull over and take a nap when I get drowsy.

I think it was my junior year of high school and I was driving a boat of a car that looked a lot like this:
If possible, I think it was even longer and not as pretty but it was go…
It's been several years but here I am again.

I'm now in process to become an ordained pastor in the United Church of Christ!  It feels like I'm entering a period of renewal and getting back to my true roots and calling.

Thankfully I have a fabulous mentor for the process. She has given me homework. One thing is totally creative and not using words--only pictures to collage themes of fear and failure. The second piece is to journal about fear and failure. I've decided that it's highly unlikely that anyone actually reads this blog anymore since it's been inactive for years so it's as good as place as any to journal.  Plus I found a great community when I was actively blogging and my hope is to renew that community as well.

A few things for you to know, this year I broke my 40+ years of biting my nails!  This is HUGE and something I've tried to do most of life. Unfortunately, I have developed a new bad habit, I fiddle with my fingernails and often end up t…