larger than life--a rant

I've become larger than life
but the bigger I get the smaller I feel
The more I want to be seen and less and less

The pictures I take reflect the beauty around me
caught up in it all I have my picture taken
and suddenly I can no longer see

See the beauty
for a minute I felt it
it felt good
it felt inside of me

So how does another picture
make the beauty fade so fast?

Like a caricature of who I once was
overinflated on the inside
but its gone inside and shrunk everything else while it's gone larger than life can hold
in my body

Now to shrink the outside
to grow up and not out
that has got to be possible

But then I see those pictures
and think it's just not possible
to make this caricature real
but I desperately
want to be in a picture of beauty
and still see me

I want my body to be able to hold my life and not take out my knees.