Monday, January 31, 2011

Update

It turns out that I am magic!  My unicorn horn has been deemed an insignificant benign osteoma.  I deny that my horn in insignificant and is definately magical!

It was a relief to find that it's nothing to worry about.  I did find out that I have chronic sinuitis and am on some crazy antibiotic that they also give to people who've been exposed to anthrax!  It's tearing up my stomach so perhaps I'll lose some weight while I'm on it these next two weeks. 

Thanks for your support through all of this!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ramblings on Shane C., my call, and CHURCH

This weekend I was honored to listen to Shane Claiborne talk about his life, grace, reconciliation, and God's radical love.  The thing about Shane is that he lives what he says he believes.  This is something that puts a lump in my throat. 

While we were at the conference, I said to Merkin "This is stuff that will get me kicked out of church if I speak it on Sunday" (only partly in jest).  The more Shane spoke the more I wondered if the corporate church can be the CHURCH in a radical way, in a Jesus way, in a living out loud sort of way.  As much as I want to say yes, I'm not sure it's possible. 

I can't quote precisely, nor confidently say this came from Bonhoeffer but he supposedly said that pastors/preachers cannot depend on the church for their income--it's too compromising.  I know this to be true for myself.  What I long to say, I hold back out of fear.  Sometimes it's fear of being written off, sometimes its fear of hurting someone else, sometimes its fear that it will get me kicked out of the church.

I've been struggling lately with my call.  I'm questioning if I can be, should be an ordained pastor in the UMC.  I'm wondering if I should even be a pastor in any denomination unless I'm preaching as a weekend gig, where I'm earning money building tents or something during the week.

This weekend wasn't much help.  Yet, I do believe that if we don't have anyone inside the church calling us to task, calling us to be accountable to Christ Jesus then there is no way the church will be CHURCH.  I do want to be that person/preacher/christian!

I'm grateful that I'm not preaching this weekend.  It gives me time to think.  Before going to WOW I was planning a sermon series using Adam Hamilton's Enough.  I think I'll be adding some radical Shane to it and ask some of these questions to the church.  How else can we be the CHURCH?  Gotta start somewhere!

Friday, January 21, 2011

RevGal Friday 5: Books!

Jan writes, So tell us what you're reading, what you would and would not recommend--five books or authors!

I would highly recommend:


  1. Toni Morrison--anything written by Ms. Morrison is fantastically lyrical, inspiring, and thought provoking.  The Bluest Eye and Beloved are two that come immediately to mind.  Currently, Burn this Book is on my Kindle waiting to be read.  It's next in line after Annie Dillard's The Writing Life.






2.  Debbie Blue is co-pastor at House of Mercy in St. Paul, MN. Her writing and preaching is earthy, honest, and irresistible!    Her two published books are Sensual Orthodoxy and From Stone to Living Word--don't miss either!  I hope she has another coming out soon!








3.  Joyce Rupp--I feel as though I'm indulging in those folks you already know but just this morning I was thinking about how it was time to read and journal through Cup of Life again.  It is one of the few books that I've worked through the entire thing and surely its the only one I enjoyed and want to do over!  It was and continues to be very helpful to my spiritual development.  Now, can I find my copy, or have I given it to someone else and it's not been returned, do I need another copy?





4,  This one sort of feels like cheating, she's a professor at Saint Paul School of Theology and is an amazing woman, teacher, writer, and human being.  Thus far she's only published one book but I look forward to reading more and I'm sure she's published many journal articles, just keep your eyes and ears open and when you read or hear her name pay attention!  Oh yes, her name is Dr. Rev. Angela D. Sims!



5.  Just for fun (I need to add one of her books to my reading list!) is Sharan Newman for her Catherine Levendeur MysteriesThese are so much fun to read!  To be honest I had no idea she wrote anything else but after visiting her website I'll have to more thoroughly check her out!


Currently reading (on my new Kindle!):
  1. Enough: Discovering Joy Through Simplicity by Adam Hamilton
  2. The Writing Life by Annie Dillard
  3. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
  4. Fearless Confessions:  A Writer's Guide to Memoir by Sue Silverman
  5. The Greatest Prayer: Rediscovering the Revolutionary Message of the Lord's Prayer
  6. The Woman's Bible by Elizabeth Cady Stanton
  7. Biblical Interpretation:  A Roadmap by Frederick C. Tiffany and Sharon H. Ringe
Who Wouldn't I Recommend?  Honestly I can't think of many.  I certainly have authors and books I don't like---the awful Twilight series (really?  ick!) and there is one author I read in seminary that I have tried to erase from my mind but it was powerful reading this idiot because I learned a lot about the scary theology some folks have.  I'll have to pass on bagging on any books or authors other than Twilight and the nameless idiot.  I figure that he's not worthy of gracing my blog and well, the woman who wrote Twilight--she can take it with all of the millions she's surely raking in.  This was great fun, thanks Jan!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Festival of Homies

I'm excited to report that I just registered for the Festival of Homiletics!  I've wanted to attend for a few years but timing and finances didn't seem to work.  However, when I saw it was going to be in Minneapolis I had to find a way to go!  I LOVE Minneapolis and if I go a day early I can visit House of Mercy--the church Rev. Debbie Blue helped to start and with any luck she'll be preaching that Sunday!

I'm not sure if I'll drive or fly (anyone feel like a roadtrip?).  I'm hoping to find a roomie, so if you're interested please email me.  It'd be great to have a RevGal meet-up at the Festival of Homies.  I know they've had some in the past and hope there will be another this year.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Results

Sometimes the doctoring process makes me want to scream!  The MRI showed 2 things...I have chronic sinuitis which is causing the headaches and that I have a 7mm "coritcal(?) growth on my frontal bone of my skull.  DUH!  That's why I went in for the MRI!  Apparently the MRI doesn't read bone so well and now I have to get a CT scan of my head. 

The good news is that "It's not a tumor!"  I didn't think it was.  The doctor never mentioned that either. 

Thanks for all of your prayers and wonderful support.  I truly appreciate it.  It'll be a while before I know anything else as I probably won't get the Ct scan until Friday and then results the following week.  At least I know it's not urgent or really worrisome!  When I was pregnant one of the most frustrating things the doctors would say is "oh, sometimes that happens" and now I'm hoping to hear those same words.  I'm confident I will.

Friday, January 14, 2011

RevGal F5: Time to Get Up

SingingOwl writes,
Where I am it is dark, and it is cold, and it is snowing. I really wanted to stay in bed with the electric blanket cranked this morning. Share five things that made getting out of bed worthwhile for you today!
Well, SingingOwl, you've made an especially difficult F5!  But I'm going to try to play along!
  1. Hopefully, I will get my MRI results today.  Hopefully, I will hear something like "Oh, sometimes this happens and there's nothing you need to worry about." or "Wow!  I now believe that unicorns are real!" please see Snow Day 2 for further explanation
  2. One last swig of Creme Brule creamer for one cup o' joe. 
  3. End of Year reports....oh wait, that makes me want to go back to bed and hide until January is over!
  4. My Kindle....I can't wait to read The Centurian's Wife, Things Fall Apart, The Greatest Prayer, Biblical Interpretation--A Road MapThe Woman's Bible (by Elizabeth Cady Stanton), and many others.  I love the Kindle because I like to switch between books all the time and it's so much easier with the Kindle than lugging 2 or 3 or more books in my bag!  I hate to admit it but it's more screen time and somehow that is helpful/appealing/strangely comforting (egads!  what's happened to me?!?!).  I was thrilled to find The Centurian's Wife for free on Amazon because one of our little old ladies LOVES this book and has been after me to read it for at least 2 years and now I finally am!  I can't wait to go and visit her to let her know!  Thus far it's a fun read.
  5. To see my family off to school.  I have an overnight at Heartland (CPE duty) tonight so if I wanted hugs from my girls and a kiss from my hubby I'd have to get them this morning or wait until tomorrow morning as I'll have to leave prior to their coming home. (wahwah)
Bonus:  It's RevGal Friday 5! It's a new year and I'm determined to get back to writing and RevGal Friday 5s are great helps! 

Too good not to share...from Inward/Outward a Project of Church of the Saviour

God Says Yes to Me

by Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I did it!

Thanks to some valium and my friend, Susan, I did it!  The MRI is over and now we wait to hear from the doc.  Whew!

Thanks for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and support!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Clausterphobic

I found out that I am clausterphobic yesterday.  As the technician covered my eyes, stopped up my ears, padded my head so I couldn't move, my heart began to race.  As I slid into the MRI machine I felt as if I couldn't breathe.  I was freaking out and squeezed the bulb in my hand.  He was kind, patiently talked with me but I wasn't going back in.  He sent me to the hospital where they have a larger machine--perhaps if it wasn't such a tight fit I'd be okay.  She walked me back and let me just lie down and go into the machine to see if that would make a difference.  It didn't. 

I've never experienced anything like that before.  I'm the girl that just sucks it up and moves on.  I didn't.  I called the doctor and asked for some valium.  I'm going back in tomorrow morning, prepped with valium.  I pray it works.  I feel like a nut.  It's a tiny block of time--less than an hour.  It freaks me out just thinking about it.  I've never taken valium before, I hope it knocks me out or at least makes me not care about the procedure.

It's just an hour, I can do anything for an hour.  Right?  I hope.  I need to hear that this stupid bump is no big deal so I can stop worrying and my headaches will go away.  The headaches started when I began to worry, not while the bump was growing so they're definately pyschosomatic.

The simple fact is that unicorns are real and I must have touched one once and had some of that magic imparted to me.

The girls have a half day--perhaps this afternoon we should watch The Last Unicorn, I've always loved that show.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Snow Day #2

It finally arrived and now we have 2 snow days!  Hopefully not 3--there is a limit to how much family togetherness we can take without verbally, emotionally, or physically harming one another!

Don't get me wrong, I love my girls.  I love my husband.  I love my mother.  I love my mother and father in-law.  No, we're not like Charlie Bucket's family in which both sets of grandparents lived with them (and shared a huge bed!).  Our parents live far from us.  This weekend both sets came to visit.  It's been great, yesterday we played Hand and Foot for at least 6 hours (enjoyed until the last 2 rounds).  We've watched a movie or two, cooked many meals together, and overall had a great time.  But it's been longer than 3 days, today makes day 5.  It's smelling a bit fishy around here!

Thankfully this afternoon I have to get out of the house--I'm getting an MRI.  It's probably nothing but my doctor wants to be sure.  See, I have a "unicorn bump."  For the past 7 years, or so, I've entertained  the kids' friends by telling them I'm part unicorn and the proof was when they felt my forehead--there's a rigid notch like the nub of a unicorn horn that's just beginning to sprout.  It's hard, like bone, otherwise I probably would have gone to the doctor earlier and asked about it.  It never hurt nor caused any disturbances.  But a few weeks ago as we ate dinner, Valerie said, "Mom, I can SEE your unicorn horn!"  She was right, it's grown.  Before you couldn't see it, only feel it.  Now that it's visible and potentially embarrassing I went to the doc.   After a few laughs about my unicorn bump she suggested an MRI. 

Ever since I noticed it had grown I've been having headaches--I'm fairly certain it's psychosomatic.  Perhaps I really am part  unicorn.  One never truly knows.  Hopefully, the MRI will tell us something so I can quit with the psychotic headaches!

We haven't heard from my in-laws today, FiL was ready to hit the road last night but MiL was prepared to stay until the roads are safe.  I think I'd like to have one more round of Hand and Foot so I could hopefully redeem myself from yesterday's game.  Hopefully, tomorrow everyone will be back to school, work, and driving home safely.