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Yesterday I checked in with someone who interviewed me for a position that I didn't get. It was terrible. I heard that the job was essentially mine but I blew the interview. It was a team interview, 2 of the people knew me and really wanted me to get the job. But when I interviewed, I gave vague answers. I wasn't specific enough. Then came the words I was loathe to hear,"We know she knows this stuff. She's amazing. But she didn't tell us." These are haunting words for me. They are the same words I heard during the ordination process in Misery. The people who knew me on my boards were disappointed because I didn't shine. I didn't share who I was. I didn't demonstrate my knowledge and capabilities. For a few years I've told the story that it was politics that did't allow me to be ordained. But now I'm sure it was something far more disturbing than policitics. It was myself. I stood in my own way. Just as I blew this recent interview for a job I would have rocked and loved. I'm not sure what that is about. My husband says I need to get an interview coach. I'm not sure if I need an interview coach or a shrink.

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