Skip to main content

A day with the Spirit

I was concerned about worship this morning.  Not so much worship but my sermon.  I did my research but hadn't made a preaching plan.  However, thanks be to God!  Worship was awesome!  Sometimes I wonder if I should ever make a worship plan, outline, manuscript because sometimes when I don't have a clue what I'm going to say, God provides the words and it's way better than what I could have come up with!  I know this morning the Spirit was with me because I could not have done that own my own. 

I napped the afternoon away which is both good and bad.  I'll stick with good.  We had a small but good youth group tonight.  I had a wonderful visit with a great couple who demonstrate with their lives what it is to be Christian not just in word but in deed as well.

As I stepped into the house and began to switch into sweats Joel told me to stop that someone had come by and needed me to visit their mother because she has refused to take any of her meds and is "ready." 

As I drove to see her I prayed for strength because I wasn't sure that I could go in and be the calm and abiding presence.  This is a woman I love.  I love the people I serve but there are some who are especially special to me and she is one of those people.  It was a bit of suprise.  The last time I saw her she told me not to worry that she would live so this was quite a change. 

Thanks be to God, God graced me yet again this day.  I  was blessed to be invited into this time of saying good-bye.  She told me she loved me and I gave her my love as well.  We prayed and again, I could feel the Spirit with me. 

I didn't cry until I got into my car.  It took a while for me to stop and I'm still a bit shaky.  I will miss her terribly.  I know she will be in Glory but I will miss her.  I know it's selfish, I will miss her because I could go to her home and be comepletely myself. 

Thanks be to God .  I don't know what else to say.

Comments

revkjarla said…
oh friend.
hard,honored, holy and hallowed.
love to you.
Oh, I know that love you have for that parishioner. Prayers for you as you travel this week and the end of her life. May it be filled with grace upon grace.
Mary Beth said…
Many blessings.

Popular posts from this blog

My Third-trimester Abortion

It's something I don't talk about much.

In the past I referred to it as a stillbirth. It was a stillbirth. But it was also an induced labor in my third trimester, hence making it a third-trimester abortion.

When I discovered I was pregnant I was only 16 years old. I'm pretty sure Christopher was conceived on the night my mom walked in on my boyfriend and I having sex on the couch. I thought she was going to be at work but she came home early. He ran out the door and I cried while my mother yelled profanities at me. It was a horrible night for all of us.

I wasn't smart enough to consider pretending I was on my period. After a few months my mom asked me if I was pregnant. She was right but I denied it just the same. Tim and I had talked about giving the baby up for adoption but we were scared out of our minds and decided I'd get an abortion. Another month or so passed, I hadn't gotten an abortion and I couldn't deny my pregnancy to my mom anymore. I told her …

Cancer blues

Most days I feel really positive and good.  Today is not one of those days. Today is one of those days in which I've been thinking about having my lymph nodes removed and the risk of lymphodema in my legs. Dr. Gyn/Onc seemed more worried about this side effect than the actual cancer.  I don't want to go there but sometimes those images of log tree legs, remembering the pain from the swelling in my legs when I was pregnant, and imagining the drains being stuck in my body for a week or more, well it makes my skin crawl.

I know there will be good days and bad days. I try to keep the bad days from my family and friends. I know they are stressed too.

I feel like we are one of those families in which something is always going on and people start to pull away wondering WTF is wrong with them!

I'm used to being the care taker, not the one receiving care.

I have to find a new normal and that won't happen until after the surgery.  So I need an interim normal for the time being.

Cancer and unicorns

I wish I could remember where I found this prayer, it gives me strength and courage. 

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me know beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.

Grant me that I may not be a coward,
feeling your mercy in my success alone;
but let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure.

Written by Rabindranath Tagore

It turns out I have actual cancer.  In the tiniest of ways I am concerned but overall I am very positive about kicking some cancer ass. I think it has helped going through the precancerous stuff and emotions. I now know that I can get through the surgery. I know what I face and that I am surrounded by people who love and care for me and will help me through this.

A few months ago I had a "unicorn party" for my staff because things had been rough in the office and most folks had persona…