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rumblings in my head

i haven't been keeping up with the blogosphere lately. i just spent an hour (perhaps longer) going to my favorite blogs and reading. i'm not going to feel guilty for using my office time in such a manner because, well, i needed it. thank you all for blogging and sharing your worlds with the rest of us. i've really really missed you!

yesterday i interviewed with DCOM (district committee on ordained ministry) and during the interview i mentioned that even though i consider myself a writer i find it nearly impossible to write out my sermons (ok, perhaps not THAT bluntly but that i don't write them out) and that for the past year i haven't been able to write.

one of the Elders got this quizzical look of shock on his face. as if that was the strangest thing he'd ever heard. then i popped in that i do write daily email devotionals for the folks at church so it's not like i'm not writing at all. but i keep flashing back to that look on his face.

have i changed? have i simply been too busy? what is going on with me that it's stopped? it's not completely unusual for me to stop writing. when the girls were little i had stopped for several years, the joke was that all my creativity was being zapped by them and put into raising children--after all, what is more creative than that?

perhaps i simply lack discipline.

the DCOM approved me to move on towards ordination and go through the conference interviews this coming spring. but there were some issues i need to work on and they were kind just to offer 3, there are a few more that i would add. one of those is meeting with my mentor once a month and this is related to becoming more disciplined.

i think part of my discipline needs to be writing for myself as well as writing the daily devotionals. i've been feeling drawn towards writing/crafting/creating curriculum. the pull is getting stronger too. currently i'm creating lesson plans for our Kids' Klub that meets on Wednesdays. we're studying the Apostles. at the small church we've not had "church" per say, but have been talking about the development of the Bible as we know it and some early church history. it's been really fun, i absolutely love it. the folks are totally interested in it but i haven't found curriculum that has been very helpful. we don't' have a mainstream book store around--we've got to go 1.5 hours for that and it's difficult to get a sense of it from an online bookseller. i would love to see some of the videos Marcus Borg and John Dominic Crossan have put out but they are crazy expensive. in other words, i may not need to write curriculum--it might be out there (if so PLEASE leave your suggestions in the comments!).

another thing i noticed yesterday was that i actually enjoyed the interview! i haven't been so intellectually engaged and challenged for such a long time. it was really fun! i know this spring isn't going to be fun--too much will be on the line to enjoy it. i knew most of the folks interviewing me yesterday and know that they want the best for the church, as well as for what's best for me. i trust them.

i've rambled quite a bit and need to get back to my pastor stuff! thanks for "listening" and peace be with you.

Comments

revkjarla said…
I just love you, RevHipChick! Your honesty and clarity is so refreshing!!!

bout time they get off the stick and get you ordained....
Songbird said…
I agree with revkjarla!
Mompriest said…
What a different process than The Episcopal Church...ordained first before taking a church...anyway.

I think what you are doing is much the same as those early years of parenting. Perhaps using a metaphor of parenting a church is too, well, parent/child oriented, but there is still a lot of nurturing that is required of us as we lead churches.

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